Bleach: Maelstrom
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Bleach: Maelstrom

An Alternate Universe Bleach RP. Chaos has finally been unleashed upon the world as the races, ancient and new, all vie for supremacy.
 
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Lexiane's Rp Sample 1st Attempt. (Approved) Icon_minitime12/3/2013, 6:23 am by Zafaron Uriuc

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 Lexiane's Rp Sample 1st Attempt. (Approved)

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Lexiane Mikaboshi




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Join date : 2010-11-07

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PostSubject: Lexiane's Rp Sample 1st Attempt. (Approved)   Lexiane's Rp Sample 1st Attempt. (Approved) Icon_minitime11/7/2010, 9:27 pm

Darkness, caused by the multitude of clouds in the sky, was beginning to creep along the dense forest, the wind picking up and the trees swaying with the eager anticipation of rain. If one listened carefully they would hear a congregation of birds each making its own unique cry possibly to warn their kin that a storm was approaching, the fluttering of wings becoming more and more evident as time went on. Soon all was quiet as the first droplets fell from the sky, these few droplets quickly changing into an immense downpour drenching the forest floor, flooding the lowlands. During this a lone figure sprinted among the trees having seen the rain as the perfect cover to observe the wildlife that only came out of hiding during such times like these.

Lexiane having found her subject in question a rare tree frog, stopped suddenly with a quick look over her shoulder to see if anyone or thing was following her. It was something she had developed out of habit as she heard of many a zoologist that refused to look behind themselves, perhaps it was their ego believing after many years of scientific analysis and an education in one of the top schools in a country ensured that they would not become the easy prey of an animal. She stood still for a moment listening to the steady rain as it fell from the sky, her heart rate slowing until she was totally in tune with her environment. Opening her eyes she saw the frog who by some chance had been staring at her the whole time she was their, she was different. An intruder in its natural environment, but for some reason it waited perhaps curious to what she was going to do. Seeing that it wasn't going to flee Lexiane slowly dropped down to the ground taking out a small camera and began to take several pictures of the frog. Due to her learning from her past mistakes she didn't use flash, the obvious and the most important reason being it might see it as a threat and take off, the chances of her seeing it again being very slim. After a couple of shots the frog apparently grew bored of its new "modeling job" and hopped away much to her annoyance as she wanted to tag the little bugger with a tracking device so she could see the range of its habitat. Knowing she wouldn't get another chance like this in a while she quickly got up, slipping the camera in her pocket and grabbing her back cautiously following the frog. She made an effort not to go to fast so it wouldn't run away faster but neither did she walk too slowly that she would lose sight of it, its size and remarkable coloring making it easy to lose track of.

Eventually it stopped resting on a tree that it had apparently laid its eggs as it went into one of the many urn shaped flowers that had caught the raindrops, which in turn created small pools of water perfect for laying tadpoles. The tree itself was a magnificent, Kapok tree about one hundred and fifty feet if not more judging by its trunks diameter which by its self was about 9 feet in diameter. It was an unimaginable sight the tree, towering above all others in its surrounding areas, with countless dents in its bark the work of smaller creatures that had made the tree their home. Lexiane snapping out of her fascination with the tree returned to the real reason she was here the tree frog. If she was able to tag it she was sure to get an A on her final report for the year. She had chosen one of the hardest assignments simply for the feeling of accomplishment when she had completed it, not for the grade as her peers believed. Sure they refused to invite her to the many campus parties because they thought of her as a bother, someone who just wasn't cut out for their idea of fun which consisted of drinking and sex for the most part. Lexiane stood apart from most of the others because to her this forest, these animals seeing it with her own eyes and recording what she saw, that was fun. However her thoughts were interrupted when she noticed her subject was being eaten by a light brown tree snake. Her first reaction was to help the frog but knowing that this was how it was meant to be she didn't interfere, as that was how life was in this environment, eat or be eaten.


Last edited by Lexiane Mikaboshi on 11/8/2010, 12:31 am; edited 1 time in total
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Zafaron Uriuc
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Zafaron Uriuc


Posts : 388
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Age : 32
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PostSubject: Re: Lexiane's Rp Sample 1st Attempt. (Approved)   Lexiane's Rp Sample 1st Attempt. (Approved) Icon_minitime11/8/2010, 12:00 am

Well as mentioned there are a lot of run-ons in here which will draw back on the events happening in the sample. However most could be fixed just by replacing commas with periods so they aren't terrible run-ons, just confusing grammar usage. Along with a few other grammar goofs I will give this

Tier 2

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