Bleach: Maelstrom
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Bleach: Maelstrom

An Alternate Universe Bleach RP. Chaos has finally been unleashed upon the world as the races, ancient and new, all vie for supremacy.
 
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r9107

r9107


Posts : 3
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Join date : 2011-05-05

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PostSubject: Isaac Rain (Approved)   Isaac Rain (Approved) Icon_minitime5/5/2011, 3:29 am

Name: Isaac Rain

Age: 112

Visual Age: 20

Gender: Male

Rank: Arrancar

Appearance:
Isaac Rain (Approved) Eligius_Colored_by_esei
Has the number 88 on his neck

Personality:
Alone: He shows a calm and serious expression, which makes people suspicious about him.
With others: He acts just like how he does when alone, unless he is with people he regards good enough to be his friends, then he develops a child like and humorous personality.
As a Leader: When in any leadership position, he is calm, serious, and brutal.
Feeling of work: When given any kind of work, he is serious and says few words, he carries out his work quick, efficiently, and follows all orders or conditions given in the mission.

Fighting Style:
During a fight he first asks if they truly wish to do this, if they do wish to continue with the fight he keeps fighting until he dies or they are killed. while fighting he uses a combination of hand-to-hand and his Cero. If he deems the enemy an actual fight, capable of matching he decides to use his sword. When his opponent can no no longer fight he decides to kill them with his sword or just killing him with a cero. His greatest focus in combat is speed, he looks for any chance to improve it.

Backround:
Human: Isaac was born in New York during 1910. He grew up on the streets as an orphan, not knowing what had happened too his parents. He turned to a life of crime and became extremely successful at free running to escape cops. At age 13 he was recruited into the Mafia, when he helped some of their men escape through an abandoned building.. At age 18 he moved to Chicago with his friend to work under Don Don Alphonse "Al" Capone. At age 21 he walked into his house and heard his girlfriend with another man. he busted in with a knife from his kitchen. He saw only his girlfriend in the bed, and then had his throat slit from behind. He fell to the ground not seeing his killer but saw his girlfriend walk behind him to whoever his killer was.

Spirit:
He woke up in his house. He turned around and saw his girlfriend making out with his best friend and his partner in the Mafia. He turned to attack him but went straight through them both. He wondered what just happened but fueled with hate he struck again and again, until he realized it was useless. He left his house sad and betrayed. That's when he noticed a chain in his body he panicked and started to pull on it until it came out and he became a hollow.

Hollow:
He now felt a strong hunger he remembered his killer and old lover. He came back to his old house and devoured both of them. He found himself still hungry and begin devouring more people. He eventually found himself in Hueco mundo devouring many hollows. He eventually evolved into a gillian which intrigued him to see if he could evolve more. Indeed his thoughts were correct and he became an adjuchas. As an adjuchas he had more power than he had ever had but he still wasn't satisfied with it eventually after wandering for some time he came across an Arrancar by the name of Pereza. Isaac was told of a way to gain even more power, and when he heard this he had to do it. Isaac accepted and was taught how to tear of his mask.

Arrancar:
Being a new Arrancar he was told of a place known as Las Noches. He heard talk about it from hollows he was about to attack in his past but never looked into it. Now as an Arrancar he had reason to go there. He was taken there by Pereza. When he arrived, Isaac decided that he would serve the one that gave him power and he would eventually try to serve under him in his Fraccion but for now Isaac just wanted train and become more powerful

Espada/Shinigami War:
During 2020 Isaac was commanded to stay at Las Noches being he was just a regular Arrancar. Isaac followed these orders without a second thought. While he was in Las Noches during the war, he was prompted by three Arrancar to disobey orders and sneak into the human world. Isaac denied their proposal. The three were mad and didnt wanna take no for an answer, being they wanted someone stronger than them to back them up. So they attacked Isaac. He wasn't expecting their attack, so one cut him across the right cheek, giving him a scar. Isaac told them fo their grave mistake and killed them all with his cero, disintegrating their remains.


Last edited by r9107 on 5/6/2011, 2:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Zafaron Uriuc
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Zafaron Uriuc


Posts : 388
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Join date : 2010-09-19
Age : 32
Location : California Dude!

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PostSubject: Re: Isaac Rain (Approved)   Isaac Rain (Approved) Icon_minitime5/6/2011, 1:12 am

"His speed is so great it can break the sound barrier in one fluid movement."

Gonna ask you to take this out. Don't want people making sonic booms with their punches, and especially not regular arrancar.


"Isaac was born in New York during 1910. He grew up on the streets as an outcast for not having a New York accent. "

Umm...what? If he is born and lived in New York I don't see how he is not going to have an outcast. And that certainly wouldn't be enough to make someone an outcast, especially not in New York of all places with its extremely diverse cultures and immigrants from all over the world.

"At age 13 he was recruited into the Mafia because of his free running ability. At age 18 he became one of the Underbosses to Don Alphonse "Al" Capone. "

Not sure what free running ability is and you are aware that Al Capone wasn't a New York Gangster right? He primarily worked in Chicago. Perhaps your character moved there but due to lack of detail it seems unclear.


"One day he came across another adjuchas he thought of sneak attacking it but noticed it removed its mask and turned into something more. When the mysterious warrior left he did the same thing and became an Arrancar."


Need to check the rules section more obviously. You don't just "pull off your mask" and suddenly gain power. On this site Arrancars are only created by the Primera Espada Pereza as he has been the only one to master the ability to break the barrier between shinigami and hollow powers.

"Later he killed the Arrancar who led him there while acting under direct orders."

Under whose orders? The Espadas? Another arrancar? Got to give some explanation about this.


And then we get to the biggest issue.

This is an Alternate Universe site. Says so right under the banner. Aizen does not exist on this site. The only place he exists on this site is in one topic and that is just a continuation of an April Fools Joke. And also, why would this random arrancar be told to keep the other arrancar in check? He isn't even shown to be a fraccion or powerful enough to be an Espada so why would he be given this privilege?


So yeah, this backstory needs to be edited a bit before it is approvable.
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r9107

r9107


Posts : 3
Points : 0
Join date : 2011-05-05

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PostSubject: Re: Isaac Rain (Approved)   Isaac Rain (Approved) Icon_minitime5/6/2011, 2:54 pm

hopefully i got the issues out of it
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Zafaron Uriuc
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Zafaron Uriuc


Posts : 388
Points : 65
Join date : 2010-09-19
Age : 32
Location : California Dude!

Isaac Rain (Approved) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Isaac Rain (Approved)   Isaac Rain (Approved) Icon_minitime5/6/2011, 11:46 pm

Yeppers.

I am considering this

APPROVED

Resurrecion next.
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PostSubject: Re: Isaac Rain (Approved)   Isaac Rain (Approved) Icon_minitime

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