Bleach: Maelstrom
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Bleach: Maelstrom

An Alternate Universe Bleach RP. Chaos has finally been unleashed upon the world as the races, ancient and new, all vie for supremacy.
 
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Kurayami

Kurayami


Posts : 43
Points : 9
Join date : 2010-10-07
Age : 36

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PostSubject: Fukki Kurayami (approved)   Fukki Kurayami (approved) Icon_minitime1/25/2011, 8:09 pm

Name: Fukki Kurayami

Age: 205

Visual Age: Late twenties, 29

Years since Entrance into the Gotei 13: 115

Gender: Male

Division:9th

Rank: Lieutenant

Appearance:
Spoiler:

Personality:

Hes a calm guy, maybe a too calm guy who its really hard to anger unless its something related to his friends or something that is hindering his work. Exactly due his lack of worry about things, sometimes he disagrees about why some laws, rules and orders should be as they are. It also makes him, most of time, just talk what comes into his head without thinking about whos around or whos hes talking to.

Even so takes his job seriously, for him theres the right time for everything, no exceptions, but whenever on his free time he will just try to be left alone sleeping on some corner with some book trying to relax when not doing some new and crazy intensified training created by him or that he heard about.

Rated early as a guy who prefers to fight alone egocentrically just to show his strength, he showed to bear a great sense of compassion, preferring to fight alone in order to see if he can defeat the enemy without risking his partners while showing them the enemy abilities so them can plan a better way around to fight against it.

Fighting Style:

As he fight his best at close and medium range, he'll always either try to strike first and reduce the distance between them or lure the enemy close to him while trying to identify a way around the enemy abilities.

Background:

He joined the shinigami academy some years after an incident where most of his friends got killed by hollow, when they were wandering north in the forests. The shinigami who killed the hollow was surprised by his reaction as the only thing he did wasn't thanks or to cry about losing his friends like that in front of him, but instead that he asked him while still shaking a little 'how can i have that power?' as he really didn't want see anything like that ever again.

His years on the Shinigami Academy weren't great, he was reserved and was considered weird by some as he usually didn't seem to care about most of the academy rules even been a great student. He grew skilled on both Zanjutsu and Hoho, making his interest for long range combats and strategies of combat grow already in the first years of academy, so he could find better ways to fight long range as he wasn't so skilled using Kido.

During his first training mission in the human world, even showing not having a single tear of team spirit, he killed most of the group of hollows without any help of his partners. Breaking orders from his team leaders and inspectors just to show up his strength during the mission and ending seriously wounded, made that after graduating he wasn't selected for any division immediately and spent a few years in wait.

Under that time he intensified his training as what he wanted was to reach the same power of a captain so he wouldn't be underestimated or put aside like that again. It was also when his zanpakutou first talked and accepted him as what Fukki desired was power and what he desired was to fight.

After some years he was finally called and designed for division, acting as a seated officer for the 13th and then been relocated to 8th, after internal problems and discussions with another officers, as hes ideas for the division didn't seem to please most of them. He stayed sometime in the 8th division and it was good to have all the free time he wished to train, but after some years he just couldn't stand that so monotonous routine and formally asked to be relocated from it to anywhere else.

He ended working in the 9th division, where he was designed as the 6th seated officer after achieving his shikai. Differently from other officers of the division, he enjoyed to be together with regulars been friends with many of them. He had the trust of many of his division partners as he was always the first to step in no matter what was the trouble that happened, helping to find a way out of, what usually helped him whenever he disobeyed or discussed with his superiors tactics and orders as they would still support his decision.

All those years slowly made him forgot about trying to achieve such thing as a captain power level as it would probably make him obtain a lot of responsibilities and stay away from his friends, so he decided to let it be not caring about tests to rank power inside the division, fighting just to help in missions.

During the Espada invasion to Soul Society, not even with time to think about it while fighting he showed that he had great skills as he fought and helped others to fight against the arrancars and hollows as also trying to reorganize the growing chaos inside the Seiretei. That made him soon after that happening been appointed and promoted to the rank of lieutenant as he already had show the real extension of his powers as well the great use of his skills in field while been of great assistance during the war to his division and the Soul Society.

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Last edited by Kurayami on 2/6/2011, 3:22 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Kurayami

Kurayami


Posts : 43
Points : 9
Join date : 2010-10-07
Age : 36

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PostSubject: Re: Fukki Kurayami (approved)   Fukki Kurayami (approved) Icon_minitime1/28/2011, 8:34 am

check
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Zafaron Uriuc
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Zafaron Uriuc


Posts : 388
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Join date : 2010-09-19
Age : 32
Location : California Dude!

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PostSubject: Re: Fukki Kurayami (approved)   Fukki Kurayami (approved) Icon_minitime1/29/2011, 4:03 pm

My main issue with the app is that I feel that the personality is very weak. We know that he is a lone wolf because he fights for his friends and that he is slow to anger unless his friends are injured.

Oh and that he also will work when needed but will also sleep around or hang out with people.
Makes the whole lone wolf thing more confusing that he actually will hang out with friends though. So is he supposed to just be a lone wolf in battle and not in regular life?

Altogether the personality feels flat. We do get some more info from the backstory though which could easily be added to the personality to flesh out the character. You show that he seems to disagree with superiors a lot and that this gets him in trouble. You could add why he acts this way and what his true goals are. Maybe also elaborate on his relationship with his friends as already mentioned he seems to have a divide between how he deals with them in regular life and when in battle. Is he just overprotective? Does he feel he NEEDS to protect them for some reason? A little polish on the personality will go a long way.

Also he needs to look a little bit older. About 27 or 28 would be best.


As for backstory you didn't mention when he got shikai.
The statement "He grew skilled on both Zanjutsu and Hoho, making his interest for long range combats and strategies of combat grow already in the first years of academy, so he could find better ways to fight using his own weakness. " was a bit confusing for me. Was his interest in long range combat so he could use it more or so that he could find ways around it if someone uses it against him? Wasn't very clear.

And just a final point, not required but would be helpful. Really, why did he enjoy the 9th division so much more then the other ones? He just seemed to have internal problems in the 13th and was bored in the 8th but you didn't really explain why that was and what made the 9th better. Again, it would help flesh out the character.

So yeah, this primarily needs to have the personality elaborated on before I give it approval.
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Li Rainrix

Li Rainrix


Posts : 15
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Join date : 2011-01-28
Age : 36

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PostSubject: Re: Fukki Kurayami (approved)   Fukki Kurayami (approved) Icon_minitime1/29/2011, 4:08 pm

k
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Kurayami

Kurayami


Posts : 43
Points : 9
Join date : 2010-10-07
Age : 36

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PostSubject: Re: Fukki Kurayami (approved)   Fukki Kurayami (approved) Icon_minitime1/29/2011, 5:53 pm

Zafaron Uriuc wrote:
My main issue with the app is that I feel that the personality is very weak. We know that he is a lone wolf because he fights for his friends and that he is slow to anger unless his friends are injured.

[[[Oh and that he also will work when needed but will also sleep around or hang out with people.
Makes the whole lone wolf thing more confusing that he actually will hang out with friends though. So is he supposed to just be a lone wolf in battle and not in regular life?

[[[Altogether the personality feels flat. We do get some more info from the backstory though which could easily be added to the personality to flesh out the character. You show that he seems to disagree with superiors a lot and that this gets him in trouble. You could add why he acts this way and what his true goals are. Maybe also elaborate on his relationship with his friends as already mentioned he seems to have a divide between how he deals with them in regular life and when in battle. ]]]

Yeah, i added some to the personality


[[Is he just overprotective? Does he feel he NEEDS to protect them for some reason? A little polish on the personality will go a long way.]]

it was in the background but ok...

[[[Also he needs to look a little bit older. About 27 or 28 would be best.]]]

sure

[[[As for backstory you didn't mention when he got shikai. ]]]

he gained in the meantime but its added then...

[[The statement "He grew skilled on both Zanjutsu and Hoho, making his interest for long range combats and strategies of combat grow already in the first years of academy, so he could find better ways to fight using his own weakness. " was a bit confusing for me. Was his interest in long range combat so he could use it more or so that he could find ways around it if someone uses it against him? Wasn't very clear.]]

so that he could find ways around it if someone uses it against him<

[[And just a final point, not required but would be helpful. Really, why did he enjoy the 9th division so much more then the other ones? He just seemed to have internal problems in the 13th and was bored in the 8th but you didn't really explain why that was and what made the 9th better. Again, it would help flesh out the character.]]

done

So yeah, this primarily needs to have the personality elaborated on before I give it approval.
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Zafaron Uriuc
Admin
Zafaron Uriuc


Posts : 388
Points : 65
Join date : 2010-09-19
Age : 32
Location : California Dude!

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PostSubject: Re: Fukki Kurayami (approved)   Fukki Kurayami (approved) Icon_minitime2/4/2011, 4:57 pm

Changes have been made.

APPROVED
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Zafaron Uriuc
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Zafaron Uriuc


Posts : 388
Points : 65
Join date : 2010-09-19
Age : 32
Location : California Dude!

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PostSubject: Re: Fukki Kurayami (approved)   Fukki Kurayami (approved) Icon_minitime4/29/2011, 7:21 pm

Sending to records due to inactivity.
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PostSubject: Re: Fukki Kurayami (approved)   Fukki Kurayami (approved) Icon_minitime

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