Wolx Hound

Name: Wolx Hound

Age: 276

Visual Age: 24

Years in Soul Society: 176

Years Since Banishment: 100

Gender: Male

Former Division: 9th

Former Shinigami Rank: Captain

Rank: High Elite (Formerly)

Appearance: See Avatar...

Personality: Wolx is quite the hot headed procrastinator with an eye for causing more harm then good, to him his ideals are right and everything else is wrong. Fighting is the key to a mans soul, and you never know someone unless you fight then. Pain is a reward given to you for a job well done, and death is the ultimate prize given when you finally find that person that is stronger then you. Dispite this Wolx can control those outbursts of violence and keep his cool, which isn't something amazing as enemies, and allies are quick to tick him right back off. Yet as a Captain he supressed it by simply training, chanelling his rage in a more useful way, and it didn't hurt that he was in love and wanted to impress someone.

HIs most disturbing trait however is his lack of respect for those ranked above him or in charge. Mainl because most are idiot and ave been sippin' on the sack to much, but mainly because they only see him as a kid even after the things he's done. Because of these Wolx has the strange idea that the Mavericks are the most unholy, yet most fun group ever. They are not restricted by dumb laws, and rules. If you don't like the next guy then kick his ass and prove your better. This is the setting Wolx finds the most interesting.

Inner Hollow Personality: Wolx hound is named Claux and is nothing short of his brother in arms. They two of them have an equal hot-headed nature and are irritated easily by arrogance and ignorance. Claux however is far more detailed, and resourceful in battle and because of these the two of them can fight together as equals with the same goal. Power. Their pact is one of Absolute Powerforce, Claux will forvever fight by Wolx's side as long as Wolx promises to never change, and fight for as long as he can.

Inner Hollow Appearance: the same as Wolx but with black hair.

Fighting Style: From years with the 2nd, and 11th Squad's Wolx's skills in zanjutsu are apparent, aside from that he foces on Hoho. Hakudo, an Shunpo are his strongest weapons. His body is a temple and from years of extreme training and punishment it can take a lot. This in turn shows itself in his physical strength, which often takes his enemies by surprise because of his size, and body frame.

When fighting with his hollow partner his sytl doesn't change ch other then that he doesn't use his zanpakuto, and focuses on Hoo, and his hollow abilities. His most interesting attak is forming half a cero in both hands, smashing them together, and then releasing it in a Kamahamaha Wave.

Background: Born in east Rukon nearest to the wall seperating the Souls from the Soul Reapers Wolx was subject to a easy lif of being another weak soul with no future. While others enjoyed being nothing but soul wandering around trying to play family Wolx only wished to be a soul reaper, something with a purpose, a meaning, and power. So he took the enterance exam.

He failed each time..

After 5 tries he got in, each tryout being a year apart. So by the time he entered into the academy he had some idea of inner drive. Over the course of his first 3 years he moved at an adverage pace. Zanjutsu and Hakudo were easily his stronges skills, an after his 5th year he discovered how to add in Shunpo to make his movements and fighting style more unpredictabe. By his 6th year he was sent to te 2nd Division as it's 8th seat and apart of the Onimitsukido.

It wasn't what he was looking for at all. Attacking from te shadows, running away if you have to, hiding. It was sickening, but he stuck with it for one reason, power. The Onimitsukio were some of the best hand to hand fighters and the fastest soul reapers out of all the squads. Two skills he longed to master. So by his 10 year with the 2nd Division he had risen to the rank of 3rd seat, put in charge of the Maggots Nest, and unlocked his zanpakuto, Kamaitachi. His number one requirement to be 3rd seat was the abilities to disarm, and take on multiple enemies with only your bare hands. Something he enjoyed.

After 7 more years of this Wolx was transferred to the 11th squad per request. He was given the rank of Vice-Captain. The older more experienced men didn't like these, so as all men in the 11th Squad he was not excluded from the annual brawl or two but due to his time with the 2nd Division, and the meathead status from most of the members of his squad he could dodge them or flat out fight them, which was also a plus as it only helped him train arder.

After 40 years with the 11th suad Wolx unlocked his bankai during one of his privat training sessions. He walked to th 4th squad with it still active and passed out in the hands of the medics. He awoke from two weeks the Captain saying he was lucky to be alive and to nevr again but himself through that much stress.

3 years later he was promoted to Captain of the 9th Division where e fell in love with a older man named Kenshiro. He was the 5th but was strong enough to be the Vice-Captain. His skills were amazing and his mind was just as fit as those six-pack abs. Wolx didn't unstand it at first, only beliving he was just showing respect, but after walking in on the man in the washroom his body did something he wasn't used to. From then on he couldn't keep his eyes off of him, everyday he would hide behind the brush and watch him train. Whencalled upon on a missio Kenshiro was the first and only name he would call to accompany him.

During the White Rebellion Wolx and Kenshiro fought to protect the SOul Society. Kenshiro lost his life that day and while in his Captain's arms Wolx confused his love, and admiration for him. Kenshiro only smiled and rubbed his hand against his face before dieing. Wolx, rage stricken went only a fight a band of arancers and reduce them to nothingness. After the batle Wolx couldn't face himself anymore and felt as a failure to the name Captain, in search of more power he cam across the Maker. Using Wolx's lust for more power the Maker granted him his hollow abilities and Wolx became a High Elite.

Less then a few months after the White Rebellion Wolx left the Sant. He felt like his skills were only being restricked by the rules of te Maker, and evn tho his senses told him to stay as to not pis the Maker off, his lust called harder and Wolx ran. After meeting up with th Mavericks Wolx found his place to be. Fighting to th dath of arancer, Vizard, Soul Reapers, and etc was the best thing ever to happen to him. He only wished he could share it with Kenshiro.

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Oh dear. Lets begin I guess since everyone threw this job at me.

First off your personality should be changed a bit. Remember, the Mavericks mostly only exist to have a base for all the people who are traitors of their race. They have no group structure and they don't really work together rather then tolerate each other. So Wolx wouldn't have any jobs put on him and would have no reason not to fight all of his Vizard Allies if he wanted to. Nobody would give a damn in the Maverick organization, it would just be his own dumb fault.

Why is he planning for Vizard success if he is a Maverick?

"Their agreement however is that they day Wolx dies Claux has the right to take over his body."

Doesn't work that way, when Wolx dies, both souls die and the body dies. So that agreement makes no sense.

"The hot-headed speed,agility, Hakudo and Zanjutsu mastery that is Wolx, and the overwhemling hollow abilities of Claux."

Please don't make yourself awesome at everything. You should know by now that we try to avoid Mary Sue characters. -_-


"and was in a way destined to be a Soul Reapers." You may have just had that in for dramatic effect but there are still many souls that get hungry and have spiritual power but never become Soul Reapers for whatever reason. It just means he has the capacity for becoming a soul reaper.


"Once he was of age, and finally passed the enterance exam after failing four times before, "
Oh hey this is an interesting twist, haven't really seen people do it where their character actually fails the test. Good to see that your character isn't always super specia-

"were he quickly took over as head of Swordsmenship, and Shunpo classes."
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
That makes no sense. He fails the exam four times then suddenly I am so awesome I am the best person in two of the classes? No. Or are you saying that you actually started teaching those classes yourself? If so NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


"It was no surprise that he graduated only after 4 years, with his shikai released by the beginning of year three. " Too fast, I think the earliest we have been letting anyone graduate is one year early, so 5 years. If you know someone that has something different then that let me know so I can tell them to change it.

"3 years later his bankai was released and he was promoted to Captain of squad 7, and then transferred to Squad 10."

Whoa whoa whoa. From the way you are describing events it looks like Wolx went to the academy for 4 years, spent maybe one or two years in Squad 11 during which his Captain had to pwn him, and then 3 years later he got Bankai and became a Captain. There is something terribly wrong with this. That is way too short of a time. And especially if this is only 3 years after getting crushed for being an idiot in front of 5 CAPTAINS. I don't think you seem to understand something about becoming a Captain. People don't instantly become a Captain just because they lol got Bankai. It is a strenuous test that needs to be completed and it needs approval by the other captains. And above all they are testing on the person's character. For someone who was too much of a brat that his Captain had to lay the smack down, had been shown to constantly piss off his coworkers, and is extremely arrogant, they likely would have never agreed to allow him a Captains position.

There needs to be a much greater period of time, perhaps where Wolx decided to calm down and act like he wasn't such a brat so that people would think he had changed and be more willing to accept him as a Captain. And what the hell is with the random division switching? You shouldn't just say "lol I switched divisions" and not give an actual reason. The changing of the division a captain runs is extremely, extremely rare if it ever happens. That would require them to get the respect of an entirely new group of people, learn an entirely new structure for a division, and have all of their jobs switched.

And the biggest issue I have is your explanation that he just happened to leave during the White Rebellion. I have stated many times that I will only allow a person to have a Maverick character if they have an actual reason for it, and especially if they have actual goals. You just have it that he left. No reason, no goals, and now he is just floating around the Maverick base doing nothing. Not letting him be a Maverick if that is all you are doing. Especially since most of the time the Mavericks don't even stay in the base or work together. A sparring match among the Mavericks usually isn't a sparring match, its a death match since they all have such different goals. These aren't supposed to be comrades, just traitors that need a home when they aren't almost being killed by their regular race.

Finished.

Allo, Levi here to take a look at this profile! [[BTW, the reason this took so long to be looked at again is because I was chosen to post on this, but then I disappeared (hence the “Emo AFKer” name). Sincere apologies for the long delay]]

Well, it HAS improved after the rewrites suggested by Zafaron. And as Zaf said, it is rare and kinda refreshing to see a character who has to deal with difficulties while climbing the ranks of the Gotei 13. But there are a lot of things that don’t seem to work with this Maverick.

There are some revisions that I’d like to suggest. Here are a few:

“Wolx is quite the hot headed procrastinator with an eye for cause more harm then good”

This seems off to me, because throughout his background Wolx seems like a very determined guy who wants to get stronger and stronger. Perhaps you’re trying to say that he doesn’t like doing any official work or other things outside of fighting & practicing? If so, then this can be modified.

“Cero is known as Wolx's favorite move, one that he can become to skilled with that he can fire it in several different ways, one hand, both hands, index finger, mouth, and even in the form of a kick.”
- Umm... no. Just no.

“resenting the disrespect he wass hown Wolx fought every senior member rank before him up to the 5th seat, whom he could not defeat”

Don’t know what this means. Was he just antagonistic towards his superiors, or did he actually fight all these shinigami? Either way, it doesn’t make a lot of sense. If it’s the former, then it makes it even less likely that Wolx would be chosen as a leader if his background shows that type of disrespect (unless he changes his act as he matures). If it’s the latter, then how does that happen? I can’t imagine all those soul reapers actually agreeing to duel with Wolx over relatively inconsequential matters.

“So Wolx because Captain of Squad 10, and after 60 years of serving dis appeared in the black of the night”

Wait, what? There’s a lot of build-up in Wolx’s background of him rising up the ranks, slowly but surely, and then he goes from being chosen as a Captain to disappearing in a SINGLE SENTENCE? Something that drastic can’t be condensed in such a way; it needs to be explained thoroughly.

Overall, it’s difficult for me to approve this profile. The problems start with Wolx’s motivations. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with a character’s motivation just focusing on him/her being stronger, but it needs to be tweaked and refreshed so that it doesn’t become a tired cliché. I think I see where you’re going with Wolx’s impulsiveness and fiery temper, but the character development doesn’t happen when it matters most - namely when Wolx leaves Soul Society and becomes a Vizard.

I am suggesting the revisions that I talked about, but personally I don’t feel this character really working for me. It might be best just to close it down and start with a new character, perhaps a non-Maverick.

editted