Lady and the Tramp

It was a wonderful day for Kuketsu. He had just been promoted to Captain of the 6th Division a few days ago and finished arranging all of his belongings in his office. As he stood in front of his desk, Kuketsu casually gandered around his new office with his hands on his hips and a smile on his face. His eyes came across his neatly folded Haori resting on the middle of his desk next to a stack of papers. I am finally a Captain. I have my own squad. Now I can finally protect the Soul Society. He thought to himself. Well, assuming Kurokotsu doesn't destroy it with one of his crazy experiments. He certainly has changed after becoming a Captain.

Kurokotsu is one of Kuketsu's friends who became the Captain of the 12th Division a few years before him and is a little messed up in the head. The two knew each other for a long time; even before they became Captains. However, once becoming Captain, Kurokotsu began changing in almost every way possible, at least in Kuketsu's eyes. He believes that Kurokotsu has gone mad with authoritative power and the freedom to experiment on anything and everything he can think of. Now Kuketsu feels like it is his duty to not only protect the Soul Society from Hollows, but also to protect the Soul Society from Kurokotsu. Kuketsu folded his arms across his chest and shook his head. Dang it Kurokotsu. Why are you such a hand full now? When did you lose your sanity? Oh wait, you didn't have it to begin with did you?

Kuketsu chuckled and sat down in the chair in front of his desk. He picked up his Haori, unfolded it, and put it on. He moved the stack of papers laying on his desk in front of him and stared at it for a bit before letting out a sigh. "Ugh, paper work. Why must I have so much paper work to complete? Oh well. I guess that is just one of the disadvantages of being a Captain." He let out one final sigh and began plowing through the mountain of papers.

"Paperwork? You DO that shit?" A figure asked from the doorway, his arms folded across his chest. Casually walking in, he twirled a long, stick-like object around, throwing it like a spear at the other man. With a snap of his fingers, it shrunk down into a coin, the smiling face of Kurokotsu imprinted on it. "Just leave it for your lieutenant, like I do. Means you have so much more free time. Come on, Kuketsu, let's go sneak into the bathhouse and stare at the others. You know you waaaaaant to..."

His hands once again empty, the other Captain pushed them into the folds of his haori with a sigh. It seemed to him that since the other got his promotion, there'd been even less time for sparring and tom-foolery. "Or, if not that, you could at least make time for us to have a little chat. I've not even seen you since your Captain's exam, I only knew you'd be free now because of that cute little unseated boy you have. Oh, that one. He gets flustered so easily, I bet he'd be a lot of fun to--Oh, never mind. I'm sure you can guess, anyway."

A large grin spread across Kurokotsu's face at that recollection, wiping away the look of mischief he normally wore. Of course, sexual mischief was, as always, a possibility with him.

As soon as he heard that unforgettable voice, Kuketsu instantly knew who was standing at his office doorway. Kuketsu let out a sigh and put down his writing utensil. "What a surprise." Kuketsu sarcastically said, not looking up from his paperwork. He raised his head and saw Kurokotsu turning his stick-like object into coin in the doorway. "I actually do my paperwork because it is my responsibility and, unlike you, I am not lazy." Kuketsu lethargically got up and walked in front of his desk.

"I just got the promotion a few days ago and was going to visit you after I finished my paperwork." Kuketsu said, annoyed. "Also, you need to stop harassing my men. I'd like to keep my men NOT emotionally scarred, please, or physically scarred for that matter, and you're just causing unwanted chaos anyways." Kuketsu knew that his words wouldn't stop Kurokotsu from his activities, but he has become so habituated with trying to cease his 'playful' shenanigans, that he does so subconsciously now. Kukestu let out another sigh, put his hands on his hips, and leaned back onto his desk.

"What is it now?" Kuketsu asked unenthusiastically. He was afraid of his answer to that question, but he knew that Kurokotsu always wanted to talk about something whenever he came to him and wouldn't leave until he asked. Also, as his friend, he couldn't just tell him to leave when he isn't doing anything important at the moment. Plus, he hates paperwork.

"Aww, don't be like that, Kuku Puffs... Your men, at least that one, valued the attention of someone of a much higher rank. Who knows, maybe down the road he'll have a better position than the one he does now. You'd be surprised what a little bit of coercion can do to another, lower-ranked person." Grinning once more from ear to ear, Kurokotsu ran over to the other Captain and aimed to wrap his arm around the male's shoulders.

"Nothing better to help you relax than some more...mortal delights, eh? I happen to know that you've not even tried to see anybody in a while, and a bathhouse would be perfect for that. Beautiful girls, wearing nothing but pearls. Caressing you, undressing you, and driving you mad." Caught up in his own spiel once more, Kurokotsu shook his head quickly to clear it of the developing images.

"You could have your pick of the ladies, since I doubt any of them would exactly say no to a Captain, and I could have my pick of the gentlemen. I mean, what's better for celebrating your new office than some sexy times?" The psychotic Captain questioned with a deadly grin, trying to pull the almost angelic Captain into a state of sin.

Kuketsu flinched slightly as Kurokotsu wrapped his arm around his shoulders. After hearing Kurokotsu's blatant attempt to have him partake in, as he saw them, amoral activities, Kuketsu lowered his head while closing his eyes and chuckled. He knew that Kurokotsu is aware that he wouldn't partake in those kind of activities so Kuketsu assumed that Kurokotsu also knew his answer as well. There was a part of Kuketsu that wanted him to accept Kurokotsu's offer just to see the reaction he would receive. However, Kuketsu wasn't about to give up his morals just for a useless reaction, so he decided to give Kurokotsu the answer he expected him to say.

Kuketsu broke free of Kurokotsu's grasp and walked forward, turning around so he and Kurokotsu were facing each other. A grin appeared on his face and chuckled. "Kuro, you know that I wouldn't do that. I am not about to throw away my morals to just have fun. It seems like every time you come to see me, you try to get me to do some bizarre activity that you know I wouldn't do. It's starting to get tiresome." Kuketsu put his hands on his hips again and let out a sigh.

"Even though I've told you this before, and you find this boring, I'll say it again. I put my duty above my own personal interests. So don't bother trying to get me do anything until I finish my paperwork." It seemed to Kuketsu that Kurokotsu enjoyed teasing him. Then again, that wouldn't surprise him in the least if that turns out to be true. "Shouldn't you be tending to one of your crazy experiments right now anyways?"

Rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, Kurokotsu started waving his hands around randomly. He knew his comrade so well, he was even able to mouth the exact words Kuketsu was saying. A goofy grin spread across his face as the kooky captain motioned to a dark, unused corner of the room. "You see that dark, dusty space? That place will find a purpose before you run out of paperwork. All you ever do is go over them, reading them thoroughly. All work and no play makes Kuku Puffs a dull boy, wouldn't you say?"

Pulling a small crimson rock out of the cuff of his sleeve, Kurokotsu made to throw it at the towering pile of paper. "I want to get some fun, and you need something. So how about this, we at least have some fun doing something, fighting, picking on underlings, something random, or I toss this at them? This is my random 'crazy experiment' of late. It bursts into smoke on impact which quickly cakes onto any cold surface, forming a thick layer of grime on it.

Now, to something like you or the window, it wouldn't do much due to the heat. But paperwork? Oh, that tends to be downright frigid. It'd be so bad, I doubt you could even see the words through the black soot. So come on, I just wanna have fun."