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Bleach: Maelstrom

An Alternate Universe Bleach RP. Chaos has finally been unleashed upon the world as the races, ancient and new, all vie for supremacy.
 
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 Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2]

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Li Rainrix

Li Rainrix


Posts : 15
Points : 0
Join date : 2011-01-28
Age : 35

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PostSubject: Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2]   Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2] Icon_minitime1/28/2011, 10:27 am

Name: Linedwell Rainrix

AKA: Li

Age: 260

Visual Age: Due his physical he seems younger than it looks for someone of his age, but looking as someone around his twenties. 24-26

Years in Soul Society: 200

Years Since Banishment: 60

Gender: Male

Former Division: 2nd

Former Shinigami Rank: 3rd seat

Rank: N/A Vizard

Appearance:
Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2] 228_by_egosunLinedwell Rainrix [v2.2] 3zxp
Spoiler:
Personality:

After joining the visored he became a calm guy who rarely seems to get bored, showing to bear a kind of a gambler and spontaneous spirit. Hes a person open to situations and able to improvise in order to bring desired results, sometimes seeming to act without regard for procedures or even his even own safety.

Li prefers interacting with a few close friends rather than a wide circle of people, having a hard time whenever taking decisions involving personal matters as he still don't know how to deal or measure such things and delaying or trying to avoid such matters the most he can. He usually focus his attention on small details rather than the big picture most of times, preferring to work on immediate problems than worrying with the future possibilities that can happen.

He's content to let others live according to their own rules and wishes, as long it don't interfere with him and the favor is reciprocated, as he's able to tolerate or just ignore many things not caring about it. He's impatient with people who just can't forget about rules and plans to follow their own instincts or take their own decisions at least one time.


Inner Hollow: Yazo

Inner Hollow Personality:

Yazo shows to be extremely calm, arrogant, cold and centered despiting such things as emotions. He constantly argues with Li trying to show him how unnecessary feelings can be, not only in battles, as also teasing and mocking saying how such things can and make him weak. But Yazo doesn't hate Li, the only things he just can't stand been weakness and inefficiency due doubts in the battlefield, usually trying to take control of Li's body whenever that happen.



Inner Hollow Appearance:
His inner hollow looks like a completely different version of his self, not only in his personality as also physically, while Li main focus is his speed having a slim and agile body, Yazo focus solely on his strenght.
Spoiler:
Fighting Style: He's both an expert and a gambler at close range combats, liking to take risks to grab chances. He usually tries to out stand the speed of his enemy combining his agility and adaptability with his Hakuda skills after reaching his enemy, trying to confuse them and making them don't have enough time to think in a proper way to counter or response to his attack.

Background:

Afterlife

After dying Li couldn't remember anything from his past life, he wandered, alone and confused, struggling to survive in Rukongai. With time he learned that one of the only ways to survive in that district, besides working for gangs or becoming submissive as most, really was standing alone as he was instead creating bounds and having to worry.

He became a thief and after some years Li had complete trust in his skills, either to sneak in places like gang headquarters or to escape from trouble while making people lose his track. That until getting caught by a shinigami in the alley. Blocking the way, he calmly asked him if that was what really wanted to do during the rest of all his life or if he wanted to do something that had a reason, instead been arrested and end up in a cell.

His name was Auriga, 14th seated officer from the 10th division and differently from others he didn't run or moved to Li, he just stood there, blocking the way while waiting for an answer. It was the first time in years that Li had felt something like that, doubt, fear, anger, confusion, he couldn't think right as he knew that in matter of minutes or maybe seconds he would probably be surrounded and finished for good.

Still confused, he accepted the offer from the shinigami, who told him to stand still and used a strange chant making Li invisible just in time as the rest of the patrol reached to the local. Impressed by the shinigami skills he immediately decided to try and train hard to join the shinigami in order to learn more about that abilities, becoming friends with the shinigami.

Soul Society

During the first years he almost quit when realizing he wasn't fit for what he desired to learn the most, Hadõ, seeming to have some kind of problem whenever using most of the basic elements, but pure energy. In the end, advised by Auriga, he decided to go on as he was one of the most skilled students at HoHõ and found interesting the classes about Zanjutsu, but really standing out at Hakuda.

Even after having materialized his zanpakuto Li keep training with Auriga, trying not his use it the most he could and fighting him bare handed. He could easily fight at same level as him without having to unsheathe his zanpakuto. After graduating he was picked to work and train under the 2nd division and the Onmitsukidō.

Due his duties within the division, and as time went by, he slowly stopped seeing his friend, devoting his self totally to his work and pride. Decades of training, sharpening his skills with duels and challenges, made him stand out among the anonymity and in a matter of time achieve high ranks inside the division.

The after all

He was carrying out a mission, along with other two officers and some skilled regulars, to find and exterminate a group of shinigami that seemed to had turn their backs to the soul society and were hiding within a forest of some district far north of rukongai.

Everything was going just as planned, when he noticed that one of the targets was none less than his old friend and froze completely. Li knew he could end been severely punished, maybe even locked in the Onmitsukidō detention center, if he disobeyed orders because of personal matters like that. Time slowly passed, but as he saw some of his partners ready to attack, those doubts and worries about what could happen instantly disappeared from his mind and he blocked their attack before it could reach the target, unfortunately making everybody there notice them.

A great chaos took place as both groups clashed against each other and Li just lost sight of Auriga while fighting against both sides as he was caught in the middle of them, trying to hold back when fighting against his partners. In the end, after spotting his friend bloody and torn uniform flying low near the ground, it was like something inside him was broken making a rage overcome him and killing everyone around, not caring about who it really was. Covered with blood and shaking, as he never had let such strong emotions take control of him or of his decisions, he walked away disappearing through the woods.

It already did weeks since he had left the Seiretei and he was exhausted from moving trying not to leave tracks, even having trust in his skills he knew that it would be just one against many if and when the Onmitsukidō found him. It was when a strange man carrying a zanpakuto approached him, telling that he knew of safe place for people like him. He continued explaining about it and said that first he had to agree with doing a small test if he would really fit in the group.

Tired and noticing that the man, besides not been part of the Onmitsukidō, seemed to have said at least some of truth and as he would probably be running out of options sooner or later, Li decided to agreed with him.

After almost failing to control his inner hollow, with the help of the vizard maker and with not many other choices left, he felt it wouldn't be the best of the ideas to break his compromise with that man about joining the group of people he mentioned, and joined the group of vizard hiding at the Mt fuji.

_______________________________________________
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Last edited by Li Rainrix on 2/12/2011, 2:55 pm; edited 22 times in total
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Li Rainrix

Li Rainrix


Posts : 15
Points : 0
Join date : 2011-01-28
Age : 35

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PostSubject: Re: Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2]   Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2] Icon_minitime2/1/2011, 2:17 am

feel theres some problems there,
but waiting for its review so they can be fixed anyway.


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Naraga Zenos

Naraga Zenos


Posts : 24
Points : 13
Join date : 2010-10-05

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PostSubject: Re: Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2]   Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2] Icon_minitime2/1/2011, 6:50 pm

Well, I'm not an admin but I can give you some tips...

First and foremost, your physical age doesn't need to be explained. All you really need to do is put how old your character LOOKS.

Next, I think should build on your personality. All together it isn't all that strong and isn't very distinguishing compared to most other characters.

Also, the last sentence in your hollow's personality is hard to understand. (Once again probably should build on it if he's going to try to take over your body.)

Try and make your fighting style clearer. I can understand that you move and attack quickly to stop your opponent from making strategies but try to add just a little more to it.

Your Background is decent but you could definately improve. Try to add more detail, such as his life before he died or if you don't want to do that some events that happened to him in Rukongai or while in the Shinigami Acadamey.

Besides those things and some grammer and spelling errors I think your good. BUT WAIT UNTIL AN ADMIN APPROVES!!!

btw it's Zanpakuto with an "n" not "m"
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Li Rainrix

Li Rainrix


Posts : 15
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Join date : 2011-01-28
Age : 35

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PostSubject: Re: Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2]   Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2] Icon_minitime2/1/2011, 9:12 pm

Naraga Zenos wrote:
Well, I'm not an admin but I can give you some tips...

Next, I think should build on your personality. All together it isn't all that strong and isn't very distinguishing compared to most other characters.

i just read other personalities and i don't think the same, even so i added more
personality has been my major problem lately it seems...

Also, the last sentence in your hollow's personality is hard to understand. (Once again probably should build on it if he's going to try to take over your body.)

its reworked

Try and make your fighting style clearer. I can understand that you move and attack quickly to stop your opponent from making strategies but try to add just a little more to it.

not a fan of fighting style in profiles... but added

Your Background is decent but you could definately improve. Try to add more detail, such as his life before he died or if you don't want to do that some events that happened to him in Rukongai or while in the Shinigami Acadamey.

i'll try think of something to add
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Fuuga Natsu

Fuuga Natsu


Posts : 75
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Join date : 2010-10-07
Age : 36

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PostSubject: Re: Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2]   Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2] Icon_minitime2/7/2011, 9:27 pm

I'd like to know more about WHY Lis best chance at survival is to become a thief, as you didn't even mention what part of Rukongai he ended up in. Is it one of the decent parts of Rukongai, but nobody takes him in for some reason? Or is it a worse part of Rukongai, and there's really not much else to do?

What does he do that makes him a target for Shinigami specifically, if he's in one of the worse parts of Rukongai? And if he's not, why does it take so long for him to be caught?

As for Auriga's decision to hide Li, why didn't he just tell the other Shinigami that he would repent for stealing by becoming a Shinigami himself?

That's just something I'd like at least some kind of explanation for.

As for the mistakes in grammar, they're pretty numerous. I know you can do better than this, mate.
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Li Rainrix

Li Rainrix


Posts : 15
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Join date : 2011-01-28
Age : 35

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PostSubject: Re: Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2]   Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2] Icon_minitime2/8/2011, 7:57 pm

Fuuga Natsu wrote:
I'd like to know more about WHY Lis best chance at survival is to become a thief, as you didn't even mention what part of Rukongai he ended up in. Is it one of the decent parts of Rukongai, but nobody takes him in for some reason? Or is it a worse part of Rukongai, and there's really not much else to do?

i do mention it, not directly but yes i do

What does he do that makes him a target for Shinigami specifically, if he's in one of the worse parts of Rukongai? And if he's not, why does it take so long for him to be caught?

even in worse/farther parts of rukongai, theres shinigami patrols, not eveyday or as usual as the most near the seiretei but thats just my belief and how it happened in the backstrory

As for Auriga's decision to hide Li, why didn't he just tell the other Shinigami that he would repent for stealing by becoming a Shinigami himself?

plot decision? cause he didn't felt like? some things are left open/without explanation in several histories, what i mean is it really needed to go that deep? its not like that would change something in the whole

That's just something I'd like at least some kind of explanation for.

As for the mistakes in grammar, they're pretty numerous. I know you can do better than this, mate.

Now about the errors, its been some time since the last i had to write properly in english, so yeah there is... but i'm fixing them...

whoa there was some pretty hard errors... and confusing gaps.
hope its better...


btw when are you coming back?

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Li Rainrix

Li Rainrix


Posts : 15
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Join date : 2011-01-28
Age : 35

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PostSubject: Re: Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2]   Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2] Icon_minitime2/12/2011, 2:56 pm

check
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PostSubject: Re: Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2]   Linedwell Rainrix [v2.2] Icon_minitime

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